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Ross Gay
Ruptured Aneurysm If there is a history, and I think there is, I do not think I own it. Watch its billowed white sail and gnarled mast rocking toward the horizon’s curve, one see-through slip-knot tethering our each neck to the hull’s gut. Watch that ship’s indifferent plod slice, instead, the widening pool of blood bubbling a lullaby from the torn grin of flesh glistening beneath a landowner’s chin, and above him, boots wet with that spill’s sprawl, a man who whittled from a throat a window through which to imagine something like a future. Look at the wakes in the bloodlake roll with the same dull crush as the sea’s unfurling exhalations, the ship’s course still steady, and constant, the keel now warted and scarred with the stringy growth of barnacles, look closely, until you see the thrust of blood leaning its persistent shoulder through a rip in my aunt’s artery, until you know her intuition and compulsion to tell me this story, the story of her father, a share-cropper killing the man who stood between himself and Cincinnati, and know, as you do, that if she dies, swallowing this story, she becomes little more than a frayed string in the braid of that ship’s rope, limp and mute in the arms of the night sky’s long dead light. The First Breath This is the landscape I could live for. Endless rows of snowdusted fields, the frozen juts of chopped cornstalks craning their necks to a thaw. This midwest is not mine- not the silos butting against a graying and slumped sky or the high-tension wires threading acres of soybeans or the dumb sheep standing knee-deep in slush. This belongs to the folks of mine who made a life massaging from the earth enough to feed a family, and some pigs, enough to post two headstones in nearly that same earth: one of whom has become that earth, and the other who wishes as much. It’s a cold winter out here. Everything left standing wishes it had gone to sleep in the fall; even the trees will laugh and spit when you promise them a spring and soil worth drinking from. But the old man, he knows better, he’s been at it all his life. He can sense a thaw around the corner, a sort of quiet opening, he’s always thought. And if you see him sitting in his rocker, eyeing the slumped pine-branches burning off their frozen burden, you’ll notice that he’s already gone down into that earth, dreaming of the first breath of soil. ![]() |
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