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Ann Marie
Fine
On purpose: for the staving off of
In this scene the edge of the sea is a movement: an oracle- like
delineation of line and lore. If you are lovely somewhere you
are also lonesome in that place; or not you, but your loveliness is,
and you linger where longitudes scrape latitudes in the air: for
they are against each other. And lead you to the edge where what
is good about being lost makes you ache for signs.
So, here
are some answers to give beloved. & they are not meant to set free,
but to lead you in the direction of when you discovered this
way: already
by surf & sand; you may go collecting for shells near your ankles &
you may absorb the radiant punishment of the preoccupied sun;
willingly: so your onus is your capital; all is bright. Do not
put your will on automatic pilot.
Your body after all,
takes a colloquial name: sapient, ambulatory, flesh, & is
forgiven; and flesh forgives; so your neck fills with salt in each
crease to prove; Icarus your arms remember & your arms vibrate
quietly, deeply, as your bones tumble from a sky of red muscle.
This repetition of being is homage to your over-hot heart;
intimate while unknownable, you are strung from it by a sea’d song
licking your eardrum having no words; pressed to the heat of
some grain fused sea-sky; a reputation fraught by unclocked winds,
in you bends you: you bend; hung from your middle & pulled
downward; fingers prod wet granules; and push as far as your
wrists go; not searching— not to be known, but gone inward
you would be loved—finding the go.
An odd accompaniment to the book of karma
Some of the images I worked with; this material from envelopes,
ripped printed paper, hands on fire— scissors, queen Isadora,
razorblade, inkwell, coffee: those refutable stain patterns in the
clouds. One key—aqui; What I mean is your heart is an eye,
which is to say that you have a good heart for good things we all
might. Take it into consideration: all the night-time I spent
humming myself to glue in the sound booth. Torn strips of a stolen
roll off medical tape; trying to gain advantage over my bleeding
hatches: There is more than one way to compose a letter to a
painter. If I am on some boat with this; I take a walk—astern;
away from the table, toward where the beginning of the ship sits low
in the sea, low. Seat of propulsion, position is where you put it;
I agree. Like a mirror agrees with whatever it opposes; as this
slippery devotion knows the winged-wake of the boat & square of a
stern. In the page I built we woman around in lifejackets, crack
bright red lobsters on white porcelain; ignore the sea travailing
through the floor: I will let the water prove there is no straight
line. Time breaks water, a meal in half; tension in the
mechanics of a woman’s fist— the American Woman! is a broken
time-piece I think I’m looking back at; the winged shape of that
scissored wake waking; breaks and beats the distance between suns
set & abyssal plane. My hands pretend to be stained with bloody
clouds of krill; tinted a pathos-ian white-blue and complain
love’s not a night-cruiser; with all due respect.
Apogee blue
I have gone out at night, when too warm and there are too many bodies
right now I don’t understand. . . two things thinging at my temples;
mis-describable; each orbiting at opposite poles in the nearmost
breathing space; a tangential succor for my wonder clad’d skull.
A glass-like globe spins well light in fragile hollowness;
(blue) the only color it can not digest—being heavenly least;
the globe between is very clear.
No-one will touch it. It is
strong like an exact dream and could burn like abyssal rock probably
burns. What I want to call hearts go afloat—splay and thrum;
breathing hearts in breathingspace; religion the constantly globed.
This aroundness swallows whole prisms and leaves hollow little
shapes empty of color; but like tiny starfish doves, they drop against
the glass and spin emptily. Never speaker ing a friendlier kind of sound.
Seeing feathers as scale(s); some bone’s washed in light air as
mute as flakes of isinglass. I forget the ground immediately, then
my gorgeous pretended bodies don’t know or can’t remember how
to love other forms— the shape of arm, the wet of mouth, the press
of hand.
Time of day emergencies; magically sluice the sky of cleaned cloth. I
make story of it I hope my hands will someday tell; palatially speaking.
Below the tide creeps back and folds itself with salt and
undertow; gulped by the cracked earth like an anti-drink; reminding how
the mouth’s involved in burial and birthing; my grave swimminghole;
after which, I come to prefer the tide’s tale of all now; above
which, the sky spits birds as points of exclamation.
For the people by the people (and of)
Their faces were stroked by atomic telemetry, lightly unfixed in
slow-motion, but to no effect. Ultimately; and that’s the
problem. There is sensory inflexion in this (landscape venue);
The style a pixilated smear of memorious memorandum or something as
serenely careful; as sleep. Trumped by a cityscape acne of
manipulated glass up ending everything fantastic with fast
haunting cirrus clouds, both fast and haunting they are forcibly
whispered up as good ideas. Territorial names begin to rumor bombs
and go all the way to big screen’s, glory mask, and no, it
ain’t pretty: Where’s your cousin now they seem to snap. The
harbingers of missing questions, also kin. Cousin, I don’t know, is
pretty much going to corner the deal. And that’s a kind of answer we
are addicted to. These voiced fractions, splay’n slow & eggwhitely
to shine gut dolly-happy and hurt, like should know better,
Meaning better than to ask, but wait a minute more and karaoke opera
isn’t half bad if for free or free now — how we endless jump
ideals framed by a class with champagne eyes punk smarting from
our leave from any big redressing. Nothing sacred is a shard of
truth that eats the rib. Their ears are sear-cocked to the void of
news(ome) noise their friends are ours and crack right centerfold
until their increases are slighted by the honest dime. A note
is writ in code above the door, one word that seems to speak of
exits; They will picture it, and go and on their way, looking
for the country they case each character for nerve.
attempt at a happy thought
And now how to forgive the self? For some questions remained
unanswered: They asked, how do I get to the broken parts to
record the ways our wholeness came undone? Some obscure directions
have been returned. These new surfaces are sheened with the dew
of a momentous miracle; are also [splintered & soaked]
picturesque and warm to the touch of a hand not minding what might
lie beneath it: [asunder] This excites our small neighborhoods and
shortly wakes our vigilante imagination until we band brashly
together, and toss various keys into the gallery of abstraction.
Courage exhibits its solitudes here on canvases of tents, to
represent “popular attitudes. . . ”
Until accidental gatherers go quiet (quietly) coveting; the way some
men will manage disrupted space between accidents and
themselves; to be retaken up in the head with an old idea
balancing inexactly upright; we peer in. Handed a cup of cold white
wine; held aloft by the hand not touching anything; is an odd
fame. Please don’t touch the art aside; there is still the
aching. An urgency to make a decision, instead of form another
“goodnews” opinion about it [the expectation of
Samaritan’s hour]: But never mind. Original surprise long ago
caused only the disappointed to abandon future attempts to
dress up and go back in; after the mirror turned
out [sundry] upon further reflection to be completely honest;
the rest becomes work. A wrecking work; a way becoming our way
to forgive— Not just another way.
Row, Row, Row
In this pastime is. In this pastime is the occurrence of things
infinite. In this pastime is infancy, and through this an imp of summer
is born. The wait belongs to the whole race, and so the water and the
rising. A septic shipment arrives afloat, and is acclaimed by no-one as
its bearer’s bilge gulps and bulkheads drain; we come cobble-tongued in
disarray. Packages marked language in black paint pronounce: courage
mandrake, courage coffling; have courage when faced with festering gasps
of the factotum. A few prisoners knew of this kind of delivery and typed
out proverbial histories from their sepulchers. How wet they were.
No-one listens, nor did them, nor will they. Circus chiefs were lionized
by lost laws, and so the digital clicks of bewildered clickers go on the
blank clock. Hope in the hopeland hoped hard, but sunk soft. Dampened as
the man. Until random brightness’s, struck with sudden faith,
cantilevered gigantic metal silences at the sky, permanently foiling the
thundering gates of chaos. No no, said everyman, I am closed. Kill the
dangerous ghosts! I also close my eyes, for distance is not hidden from
us come kinds of spongy cancers; such a killing I will neither hide from
nor such cancer come any kind of distance, or from mine. I think
distance in fact should show itself, and help us pull.
O, Ohio!
Who will hire us to manpower the desk junky’s manna machine? The
fingerman, the joker and the line-cook will. They will hire us to
exacerbate our own nomenclature and pay us television. Praise for your
labor is not a problem, but pay for it, you will. Row by row.
Here are the chapters of the plebian caucuses, writ in management’s
hand, writ in characters of idiocy, writ in hokum pokus to the
terrifiers of your poem, writ in pas de deux— dirge to dance in box
steps to. And from everything a forgettable speed, and from everything
else, straining eyes aimed for the hay fields. Shaded from the sun by
branded caps (ranch brand, ranch hand) with curved bills, under which a
wasted wickedness waits. From things to come a rapture of nothing. From
Jacobs ladder, memories of angels climb down into baskets headed for
hell—and two homunculus, charged to stabilize the ladder’s feet—laugh
like their all alone down there. The little fucks. Because there are
always what ifs, and we our teething on them there.
O to get a
halleluiah now. Just one word from the empty oar lock.
letter to snap shut
Dear he who makes what’s fit to print; a dare the size of
grow & grist(s); Our present day is rather disputatious; & there
go the things I didn’t get to: go my love affairs; how hierarchy
birds clean through afternoons, awash-ed [& shed] in the blood of
lamps [hundred watt] light coming from tiny cameras on primetime
dollarbills; everywhere you look: what wingspan! How lovely,
deeper, water; is our fit verb all monikered and meandering.
Don’t look now, someone doesn’t agree with me; And is it also me?
Why, let’s make a show of it! Please champions, launch your rocking
chairs, and please let me tell you about my fever as you rock
rest. This race is very hard without a web of sleeves. Faintly I
protect the voluptuously detailed, for you so I can cram the fringe
of freight with (what): tenacious hivery. Such is the again & again:
with us: sincerely yours; he who holds the prize too close.
Three part fantasy of maps
“—wonder distraction”
A map of the world is
situated in the various shape you were raised in (up-brought &
tells you) the ways you are gone when you want; a map of the world
(too much) reminds you of everything you learned watching
(memorizing) parades of hammer & crane operators & the priests
who architected the shape of the map; (line, color, code) with [what
was lying around] this: a necessity the shape dictates; revealed not
invented. A map of the world is unrecognizable flaunting its
thin black name; a round; flaunting it’s a thin black game; it
wonders with your eyes—tries to correct its keys with
tender cornertips; drawing away until it sees a future & maps it
back to you.
“this is the road, walk on it”
We do not own our mouths outright. Sometimes you are only saying
until someone hears you. The nerve of sleep mumblings; sound
improved on self; permission granted; we kissing back the
wet mouth kissing ours; how the body translates reasoning behind
wrongs; in mouths there are species of decay and grief; none
other; (saying said) we swallow because; the corner of the mouth
belongs to the corner of the mind; taken aback; the creases and
valleys of the lip skin fold like failed countries; we whisper
when; fortune doesn’t speak the way; we say it does when we win
fighting, when we win back our original thought — which it
was; the tongue makes memory of salt and lies. Our mouth is so
urgent, it walks on the road of our faces; wanders off.
say
when (there is nothing)
Like now. Nothing. Things are things.
Behold, subsuming nightmare; a late breeze slips through
night’s make believe window. Only an hour until Fools Day. The
lines I was reading lain down, not flat; the cover flaps slightly;
slight. I feel sorry a little shiver. Now not to quit. Time is
a secret. The ultimate one. Now not to notice, time-wise;
otherwise, you would be happy. These marks ground as they are made,
but push you off cliffs of air when read; don’t tell me I have
to drag out my toolbelt (please) of my trophies of weapons; or have
to tell you one more time; how long have I been using them?
The question is a scar. I’ve asked about this since I was
fifty- five years old—not long after birth, and then the
graduation from third to pay grade; a hundred times (yes).
Pay-as-you-go lessons were a favorite then; was my stock answer
to visiting kin who bent in half to me to inquire, “what is
your favorite subject?” I have posted this sign on every small
business venture I have not fructified. I have completed so many
change of address forms by now. And now it is catching up with
me. To survive this homelessness I must abscond with a name
for each separate loss.
* * *
Note:
“Three part fantasy of maps”: “This is the road, walk on it” is
a line
from Kate Greenstreet.
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