Contributors in this issue

Tony Soprano's Appointment


Alan King

Tony Soprano's Appointment with Dr. Melfi

you probably t'ink I'm a regular
prejudicial prick, but I got Carmela
and da kids to worry about

dis ain't like when my ole man
was around. dem coloreds had deir
neighborhood, we had ours

wit'out sayin' it, we knew
where da bound'ries were.
you didn't have all dis crossin'
into uddah territory

so Meadow brings one
of dem home. dey're on
da couch watching TV

you believe dat?! fifty
t'ousand dollars to send her
to Columbia College, and
she brings home an Oreo

dis guys a regular Richard Pryor.
Cocksucker tells me what to do
with myself when i tell him not
to see my daughter, anymore

Carmela t'inks i'm pushing
our girl away

will you stop it wit' da looks,
already. you're disappointed
but we're both parents, who
want what's best for our kids.

you've seen da guns, drugs, and
whores in dese rap videos, everyt'ings
a party wit' dese people

how's dis different from my life?

oh so you breakin' my balls,
now   well, we're very quiet
how we handle t'ings, don't
like a whole lot of show

but da bright jerseys and doo-rags,
dey're a regular Sammy Davis out dere.
Feds would spot dem right away.

dis Irv Gotti character.
you believe dis guy, taking
a good name like dat?

Cocksucker calls his label
Murder Inc. and wonders why
he's picked up for extortion.
dat kind of stupid stuff.

so AJ t'inks da world owe 'em
like dat Shakur character.

da troot is, I'm so sick
of dese moolies mocking
what we do in dere music

Snoopity Dogg t'inks he's
da Doggfadda, he don't
want Tony Soprano
to t'row him a bone

instead of bugging my house,
da Feds should be after da
industry dat's supporting dis.

my uncle Junior survived dis
business and cancer, but somet'ing
like dis would kill da old man.